i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
