I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
