I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
