letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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