So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
