dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you had me at cake vodka
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
