actually, I'm a sock model
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
