He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
