i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
