every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
