Define "chronic" masturbator.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
