Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
