and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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