Dual....:-)
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize