He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
