He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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