I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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