Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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