so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
