Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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