how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
