my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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