You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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