I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
