I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
