well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
