You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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