I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
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