I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
