She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
