The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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