I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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