I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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