so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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