He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
