Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
