mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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