don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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