Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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