HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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