Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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