dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
