oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
