we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
