its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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