One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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