didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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