I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
