I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im part way to drunk.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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