You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
