you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
