I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
