Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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