The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Text me some of your sweat
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