She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
