I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
