i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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