Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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