The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
birth control should be required to get into college
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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