Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
what day is it and did you see me today?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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