Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
