Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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