if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
